This may be a day late for Valentines but hey, it’s still the love month! Lately, I’ve been reading more non-fictions (taking a break from all those YAs) and one of my current reads is The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman.
Tulip Garden (1)
The book outlines and explains the 5 ways of love expression called ‘the languages of love‘. The 5 love languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation – expressing one’s love through words and compliments.
  2. Gifts – expressing one’s love through presents (not materialistic); gesture that has been well-thought of and has meaning.
  3. Quality Time – expressing one’s love through show of ‘real’ and ‘undivided’ attention.
  4. Physical Touch – expressing one’s love through non-verbal interaction like holding hands, hugging and kissing.
  5. Acts of Service – expressing one’s love through little favors and doing things to help your love one.

Basically, a person’s primary love language by default is the way he/she wants to be loved and how he/she loves in return. And in a relationship (not just romantic btw), unhappiness roots when couples fail to know and understand their partner’s own love language.
I haven’t finished the book yet however on Gary Chapman’s site, he added a quiz that would determine your own (and partner’s) language of love.
I’ve taken the quiz and guess what my love language is?
Honestly, I’m not really that surprised with the result.
For me, nothing screams ‘I Love You’ more than constantly just being with Bong up to the point that it sometimes becomes that cause of our disagreement. I know it’s minsan illogical to demand that he stays at home at all times because I’ve read enough Cosmo articles to know that guys need to have their me/bro times as well, but I just can’t help it. In my mind, if you really love me, you’ll want to spend time with me even if we are technically doing nothing. Okay na okay na ako with just watching basketball or some movies then just make kwento after. Admittedly, with the kids, it has become harder for us to have quality time together and it’s taking a toll on me. I’m not saying that I don’t consider time with our kids not well-spent (IT IS), it’s just that at times I crave for those one on one bonding moments where we can be husband and wife and not just Dad and Mom.
Sooo, taking the quiz just reaffirms what I already know about myself — na ako ay isang napakaclingy na tao haha!
But on a serious note, to fully utilize the languages of love, you’ll want to have your partner know his own too. That way, you’ll BOTH know the correct type of love you need eliminating wasted effort that would in the end be unappreciated. You’ll BOTH have a clearer idea of what actions you’ll perceive as love and was is not. And you’ll have a deeper understand of each other.
Will definitely ask hubby to take the quiz himself 🙂
Guys, I do encourage you to take the quiz as it can be a real eye opener. Who knows you and your partner can learn a thing or 2 about each other that you’re not really aware of?
Let me know what’s your love language in the comment ha!

58 thoughts on “My Language of Love: Quality Time”

  1. One thing that I look forward to in my marriage life is the college graduation of my teens (2 years to go for my son; and 3 years for daughter). No, its not bec. of the expenses, but I want us to go back to our courtship years when we are consumed and happy by spending time with, and thinking of each other, ohh, I missed that.
    Career and kids take, if the fundamentals is weak, can take its toll on marriage.

  2. Great post! I’ve actually never heard of this book, I’ll post this on my reading list now! Seems like an interesting read, thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. Loved this book! Read it a few years back, and it was a great read. I was surprised back then that my top two languages were Gifts and Quality Time, but a few years later, it turns out to be very accurate. Not that I’m materialistic or anything (baka sa pag-hoarde ng planners and craft items, sure). I agree, nothing says “I Love You” like spending time with the person you love. 🙂

  4. Here’s my result:
    7 Physical Touch
    7 Quality Time
    7 Words of Affirmation
    5 Receiving Gifts
    4 Acts of Service
    This is a great test for couples, I believe. Thank you very much for sharing as I have realized something about myself. I will have to ask my husband to take this quiz asap. Lol

  5. Oh we got the same haha.. Here’s my result
    9 Quality Time
    8 Words of Affirmation
    6 Acts of Service
    4 Physical Touch
    3 Receiving Gifts
    pretty much accurate huh… I think time is really the best gift other than material possessions..

  6. I wanna read that book too. Siguro for me, my love language is spending time. I;ve been busy with so many things these days, that’s why I make it a point to spend quality time with the kids and husband 🙂

  7. I’ve read the book and I highly recommend it to anyone. My husband and I are totally opposites on our love language. Mine is words of affirmation, gift and touch. His is time and service.

  8. Hi…great piece….yes those acts of love are so important to make our love and affection felt and to tell our loved one how important they are for us….
    I will try and take the test ☺

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